BreakPoint: Let’s Talk About the Talk

Bringing Sex Ed Home

There’s a battle raging right now over sex education, and our kids are in the line of fire.

“Your teacher told you what?” These are the first words of too many parents when they discover what their teens and pre-teens are learning in health class. Happily for Ashley Bever, the mother of an 11-year-old in San Diego public schools, she found out before class started.

The curriculum was called “Rights, Respect, Responsibility,” and it was put together by a group called Advocates for Youth, which unsurprisingly, is affiliated with Planned Parenthood.

Among other things, this course uses non-gender-specific pronouns, taught students that they can be attracted to any gender, and described in vivid detail sexual practices I cannot mention on air.

Worse still, this course informed middle-schoolers that they can self-refer to a clinic “like Planned Parenthood” without telling their parents, and warned that abstinence education websites lie.

This is the new face of what’s called “comprehensive sex education.” As Emily Belz explained at WORLD Magazine, it’s not just a problem for ultra-liberal school districts in California. Progressive and LGBT organizations are pushing to implement such standards nationwide. By “comprehensive,” it seems these groups mean curriculum that actively encourages sexual experimentation among teens.

School districts around the country are locked in a battle between groups that prioritize abstinence as the only 100-percent effective method of protection, and groups that teach casual sex, gender ideology, and abortion. “Sex ed curriculum,” Belz explains, “is often determined through a battle of PowerPoint presentations at the school board meeting.” Frequently, all it takes is one vote to transform your child’s school from a place of education to a place of sexual indoctrination.

In response to all of this, some churches are stepping up and offering alternative sex education that’s consistent with a Christian ethic and worldview. That is great, and I applaud the pastors doing it. They have a vital role to play in “equipping the saints for the work of ministry.”

But we should also recognize that sex ed is not primarily the church’s job. As Abraham Kuyper might have put it, the church is only having to step in because the sphere that’s most responsible for rearing children is failing. And that sphere is the family. It’s here we learn to walk, to talk, and what love means. It’s also here that kids should be learning what it means to be male and female, and what God’s intention was when He created image-bearers in two sexes.

So we parents have to do the thing we dread: give our kids “the talk,” (which should really be “talks”—many of them, over several years). In the process, we have to avoid the mistake common to virtually all modern sex education, even some well-intentioned, abstinence-first programs. When teens are taught about sex, what they usually hear is a list of dos and don’ts. They learn about “the birds and the bees.” But they seldom learn what sex is for.

As T. S. Elliot said, before we decide what to do with something we need to know what it’s for. And that’s what good sex education—real sex education—must do.

As parents, we’re responsible to teach our kids more than how not to get pregnant. We’re charged with teaching them God’s design for marriage, procreation, human flourishing and community, and how all of this reflects Christ, the Church, and the central place of love in creation. It’s in these truths that parents must ground their children’s understanding of sexuality. And it’s in these truths that they’ll find the arguments and will power to stand up to “comprehensive sex ed” and the culture behind it.


Let’s Talk About the Talk: Bringing Sex Ed Home

As Eric has encouraged, helping our kids understand God’s design for sex is the best sex education of all. And it’s grounded in wisdom and truth. For help with “the talk(s)”, check out the resources linked below.


Mere Sexuality: Rediscovering the Christian Vision of Sexuality
  • Todd Wilson | Zondervan Publishing | October 2017
Mislabeled sex ed
  • Emily Belz | World magazine | September 7, 2017
Oversexed ed
  • Emily Belz | World magazine | September 16, 2017

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  • Just One Voice

    I’ve already started “the talk” with our 2.5 year old and our newborn that’s about to enter the world any day now! I’ve started this talk by diligently praying with & for them at bedtime. I don’t go into detail of course, but for now, just something like “God, please guard them from the lies, and please protect their innocence & purity at all costs.”

    On a slight tangent note, I have to bring up that I was shocked lately. Even though I knew this would happen, I was still shocked. I filled out a survey for the financial aid office at the community college. At the end was a self-identification section. I had more options than I could ever imagine! Two that I had never seen before: “intersex” and “non-binary”. I proceeded to find an online dictionary that seeks to define all these terms. Wow….is all I can say.

    Incidentally, the college’s front page on their website was advertising pride week. The acronym has now grown to LGBTQIA+

    Again, wow. God help us all. Thinking of Proverbs 30:5-9 right now.

  • gdubya31

    Awesome post and long overdue! We are battling this very issue in one of Planned Parenthood/Advocates for Youth and the CSE ideology/agenda in Louisville, KY (one of their prime target areas)! Thanks for your encouragement and prayers! The #1 weapon in this issue is prayer…#2 is concerned and active parents/ community stakeholders. Apart from this they will continue to subvert and manipulate the system through boards and policy decisions, knowing they lose the battle in the court of public info and awareness when all the info is on the table!

    You guys should check out and follow up with some postings on ASCEND (formerly National Abstinence Education Association) and groups like Heritage Keepers (out of Charleston, SC) to help parents and concerned citizens across the country know more about the great Sexual Risk Avoidance programs that are available out there! They do a tremendous job of everything you talked about in this post and much more to help our students and their parents and guardians in the family and homes!

    You’re absolutely right…all of this begins in the home and family! The churches can and should do much more but the church was never intended to take the place of a husband and wife or father and mother.

    Thanks and make it a great day in the Lord!

  • Marcia Yiapan

    I have a couple of young friends who were home taught until 7th and 9th grades, at which point their Christian mother sent them to school. Within a year, both kids considered themselves bi-sexual. They’re now back in home ed, in hopes of getting them straightened out. As a former teacher myself, I implore all Christian parents to keep their poor vulnerable children out of public schools. Relying on Christian teachers to protect your kids is foolish. Teachers keep their mouths shut in order to keep their jobs. In the process, they appear to be condoning all the anti-Christian influences spreading in the schools.