Midlife Spring Break

Why the Family is Irreplaceable

Rating: 2.00

It’s not just college students headed to the beach for Spring Break. Perpetual adolescent males are too, and the market is in their favor. Stay tuned to BreakPoint.

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John Stonestreet

Each march, thousands of college students embark on spring break migrations to hot-spots like Miami and Cancun. They hit the beaches looking to relax and soak up the sun. But according to a recent disturbing article in the New York Post, a new trend involves predatory older single men following along, to feast their eyes and bed younger women.

These guys, many in their thirties and forties, dress up like frat boys and spend their make-believe spring breaks patrolling the sands for girls barely out of high school. Even more disturbing—they say it works!

“It’s all about the spring break mentality,” explains a 31-year-old vacationing from New York City who claims it’s easier to get young women into bed when they’re on vacation.

“[College girls] actually like older guys,” says another. “We bring more to the table.”

It’s pathetic, and as the dad of three little girls, it’s infuriating. And it represents the worst of our flourishing man-child subculture.

daily_commentary_04_15_14We’ve all heard about the guys who refuse to grow up—we remember the stereotypical Ferris Buellers of the eighties who spent high school partying.

Now the idea of teenage knuckleheads evokes nostalgia, because in 2014, the knuckleheads are balding thirty-somethings, as portrayed in movies like the Hangover series. Male adolescence now extends decades past the teen years. It’s become, as one blogger put it, “a lifestyle instead of a life stage.”

And a collapsing marriage culture is providing all the incentive. As a powerful video from the Austin Institute for the Study of Family and Culture shows, extended adolescence, delayed marriage and even the hookup scene are largely the result of simple economics—sexual economics, that is.

In this video, based on the work of University of Texas sociologist Mark Regnerus, we learn how sex, in an important way, works like an economy. And as with all economies, it’s subject to the laws of supply and demand. Men haven’t always flown down to Miami to prowl the beaches for college girls. But they have (shocker!) always wanted sex. Once upon a time, a strong marriage culture allowed women to control the supply and set the price of sex at lifetime commitment of marriage and family.

But then along came “the pill,” abortion, and the sexual revolution, all of which helped normalize promiscuity by promising to eliminate its negative consequences. Of course, these promises came with unforeseen costs. Out-of-wedlock pregnancies, divorce and STDs skyrocketed.

BNewsletter_Gen_180x180_But maybe the biggest downside was how it changed the rules and prices in our sexual economy. Now, men can get what they want without a ring. And with the tsunami of internet pornography in recent years, women—most of whom still want marriage—are left selling themselves short in a saturated economy.

I can’t recommend this video enough—especially for high school and college students. It’s eye-opening. And it’ll help you understand why our only hope for recovering a family-centered culture is to start from the ground up—to rebuild an economy where marriage is at a premium, and guys can’t afford to be middle-aged beach bums.

And there’s no better way to start than to join me on May 6th for the launch of Focus on the Family’s new project, “Irreplaceable.” It starts with a one-day film event designed to reintroduce our culture to the idea of family. Order tickets now, or even better, encourage your church to buy out a theater.

I’ve seen the film, and it’s so well done and it's so important. And it powerfully shows why marriage matters to healthy lives and a healthy society.

For more, come to BreakPoint.org. And if you click on the “This Week” tab, you can also listen to my interview with Focus President, Jim Daly, as he describes this terrific film.

Further Reading and Information

Midlife Spring Break: Why the Family is Irreplaceable

Join John and many others  on May 6th as Focus on the Family launches “Irreplaceable.” Be a part of reintroducing our culture to the idea of family.

Listen to John’s interview with Focus on the Family President, Jim Daly, here, and then watch the trailer for “Irreplaceable.” But most importantly, get engaged in supporting the marriage movement!

Irreplaceable — The Traditional Family
John Stonestreet, Jim Daly | BreakPoint This Week | April 11, 2014

Irreplaceable, movie trailer

Spring break’s latest menace? Horny old men
Dana Schuster | New York Post | April 2, 2014

America's Lost Boys: Why ARE so many young men failing to grow up?
Fiona Roberts | Daily Mail | July 5, 2011

Why are there so many movies about guys who won't grow up?
Steve Rose | The Guardian | May 10, 2012

Extended Adolescence Goes to the Movies
Joel Mayward | blog | May 22, 2011


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The Bechtloff,
That's correct. Selective Service registration is required in case we need to fire up the draft again for a new, major war. That hasn't happened since 1973, and we've had several wars and police actions since then: Grenada (1983), the Gulf War (1990), the War against Terrorism in Afghanistan (2001) and Iraq (2003). We fought those with all-volunteer military services. Presumably, it would take a bigger war (or several wars at once) to require conscription.
@Richard L
And yet I was still forced to sign up for Selective Services when I turned 18. They can say whatever they want about the draft, but as long as you're still making people register for it, it's still there, they're just not using it right now.

-The Bechtloff
The Draft?
The Bechtloff,

Maybe you know something I don't. The last time I checked, the draft was ended during the Nixon administration (1973). The constitutional amendment giving 18-year-olds the right to vote was ratified around the same time (1971). One of the arguments for it was, if you're old enough to be drafted, you should be old enough to vote. However, you still have to be 21 to legally buy alcoholic beverages.
"(collage kids are not adults Bechtloff)"

Is that so? I wonder then why it is that the government can draft an 18 year old man and send him to die halfway around the world if he is not an adult. As for Fireproof, I think the end sums that movie up perfectly. The man offers an apology and the woman does not, despite being guilty of everything he is to an equal or greater extent. As for the personal accusation, I'd actually be a little curious to why exactly you feel that way. In any respect have a happy Easter.

-The Bechtloff
CB500, please refrain from telling other commenters what they do or don't believe. Since you don't know them, you cannot make that judgment.
Fireproof (watch it again)
@ Bechtloff – As far as Fireproof is concerned, the film stared out focusing on the husband’s problem of being totally self-absorbed. He was feeding his pain with his addiction to porn. He also had goal of an expensive boat at any cost. Where in the film did it approve of the wife who was about to have an affair? Do you remember time she had lunch with the older coworker? If not, re-watch the film. As the husband started to learn how to be selfless, the second half of the film focused on the wife constantly rejecting his acts of love no matter what he did. We also saw him suffer from her rejection. Do you remember how the wife acted toward him when she saw him being treated for burns at the hospital? He became the good guy and stayed the course, committed to rebuilding the love he had lost, no matter how she reacted. The film only ended when the wrathful bitter wife finally woke up the changed husband. You apparently missed the most important point of the film, and since you are obviously not a believer, I can understand why.
Where are the parents of these girls?
When my two daughters were college age I thought it was absolutely crazy to allow them to travel to the sun and sex soaked beaches of the American south, or where ever, for spring break. It does not take much intellectual ability to know that a beach covered with young girls, with next to nothing on, is way too high a temptation for guys, of any age. While I totally agree that there is something wrong with predatory 30 year old ADULTS taking advantage of the collage age KIDS (collage kids are not adults Bechtloff) I also fault the parents of those girls for letting them go.
I'm sorry you feel that way, Mr. Bechtloff. Please know that I do the best I can to enforce the rules fairly.
@Kevin V
"Unless I missed a comment that's been deleted, John's response to The Bechtloff strikes me as rather harsh. I'm aware of the short leash involved, but still."

No, you didn't miss a comment, you just forget all those standards of being respectful on this site don't apply when talking to me. ;)

Seriously though, nothing John said there in the comments even remotely bothered me. The only thing he wrote here I thought was harsh and uncalled for was categorizing men who have consensual sex with adult women as predators. Child molesters and rapists are predators.

-The Bechtloff
Spring break nausea, feminist coworkers agree
Thank you Mr. Stonestreet for another commentary demonstrating how to engage culture.

At work, women are responding to a shared nausea that is invoked when 30 year old perverts prey on women who are barely out of high school. This is exactly why marriage is so good for Anerica, so naturally, my feminist coworkers are growing to curse the hippies' experiment.

God took his time to craft women in his image; therefore, men should not deface women. However, for men to respect women, women should not strip men of the qualities God gave men when He made man in His image. This hard sell became easy when invoking spring break.

Unfortunately, I don't have to invoke spring break because most people act like it is always spring break where I live. Spring break rather happens in the darkness of private residence in stead of on a sunny beach for all to see. America needs real marriage.
I'm sure such abuses happen but that's not what I see run through most of Evangelical culture Gina. I see articles like this in which men engaging in consensual sex with adult women are called predators. I see movies like Fireproof in which we are meant to view the husband in the wrong for looking at dirty movies, but completely gloss over the fact that they wife was just about to have an actual affair, I see all sorts of denouncing of pornography but very few mentions of the female equivalent of trashy romance novels, I see constant calls to "man up" and very few calls to "woman up". I, for the most part, see countless reasons why young men are the demographic churches seem to have the hardest time reaching.

-The Bechtloff
Mr. Bechtloff -- really? I would suggest you read this piece about the lawsuit against Doug Phillips, paying particular attention to the line "He also stated that if it was wrong, it was completely her fault.”


(Bear in mind that this was a young woman who had been taught that her male spiritual leaders were her superiors and she was never to question or disobey them.)

I'm not saying that all evangelicals think that way, not by a long shot. But unfortunately, it is a strain of thought that exists within certain highly publicized evangelical circles.
@John Stonestreet
"And, just a quick reply to the Bechtloff: I often wonder what commentary you are commenting on, as your complaints so often have nothing to do with point actually being made."

I will concede the point that I often comment on secondary and tertiary points, but that's only because I often find them to be the most interesting parts of your commentary.

"These men are not trying to "date" younger women, they are trying to bed them. That was the point of the original article and the commentary, and that does make them predatory."

How so? What I see are two adults engaging in sexual activity in which both are willing. So how does that make the man "predatory"? Why not call the girl "predatory" as she is often using the man for his money in these cases?

It seems to me, and maybe I'm wrong, like you want to paint this trend as a bunch of evil dirty old men who are taking advantage of these poor sweet innocent little flowers. Seems a common theme running through Evangelical culture, the man is always the bad guy, even when he's not.

-The Bechtloff
As immature as a lot of these "men" are, it almost seems inappropriate to call them predatory.

Unless I missed a comment that's been deleted, John's response to The Bechtloff strikes me as rather harsh. I'm aware of the short leash involved, but still.
Austin Institute Link Broken
Note: the link for the Austin Institute video points to a Daily Mail page rather than to "The Economics of Sex" animate found at http://www.austin-institute.org/ai-research-animates
Tommyd, the link is correct. Unfortunately, the Mail Online, like many other websites, chooses to run ads that can get pretty explicit. I tried to find a "print only" version of the article that would show the text without the ads, but couldn't find one.
And, just a quick reply to the Bechtloff: I often wonder what commentary you are commenting on, as your complaints so often have nothing to do with point actually being made.
These men are not trying to "date" younger women, they are trying to bed them. That was the point of the original article and the commentary, and that does make them predatory. And that is the new reality that a failing marriage culture enables and incentivizes.
Breakpoint Daily
Hey, Breakpoint. On the Breakpoint Daily email, there is a bad link in the article. It's the one for "powerful video". It goes to an related article at the Mail Online website. There are almost x-rated photos at that website, so I don't think that was the link you were attending.
"Predatory" older men? If they are single, what's to say that they haven't been able to find a woman to marry? When I was of college age none of the college girls wanted anything to do with me. It was rare to find a girl interested in dating a guy with very limited income, and who didn't drive a Lexus or BMW. I honestly think it's disingenuous to cast the blame on the single men here. We've created a culture of women who date men based on nothing more than how much money a man can provide them with as their permanent ATM card. In some other cultures that would make them prostitutes.  

[Ed. note: Murl, I deleted your last sentence because you used a perjorative term that we don't consider acceptable on this site. --GRD]
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