Marriage and Nominal Christianity

A Match Made, Well, not in Heaven

There’s just one thing that’s worse than “no religion” for you and your family: a little religion!

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Eric Metaxas

In Ezekiel 5, the prophet laments that not only had Jerusalem become wicked and idolatrous—she had become an embarrassment to even her pagan, Baal-worshiping neighbors.

Well, professing Christians today may find themselves in a similarly embarrassing spot. When it comes to marriage and family, the nation is doing poorly. But it turns out one group is doing worse than the whole: Christians who don’t go to church.

First, some background. According to the Pew Research Center, in 2015 the U.S. marriage rate had fallen to an all-time low of 6.74 per 1,000 people and is expected to keep dropping.

That’s bad news for kids, increasing numbers of whom are being raised in single-parent households and by unmarried couples. As W. Bradford Wilcox, director of the National Marriage Project, notes, “marriage provides a unique level of emotional security and stability” for kids.

Social scientists have been arguing for years about the reasons for the decline of marriage. Many point to the loss of blue collar jobs, making it harder for workers to find and keep wives. Others look at changes in welfare policy that have undermined family structure.

Wilcox and Nicholas H. Wolfinger of the University of Utah’s Department of Family and Consumer Studies, however, cite a more fundamental issue, which is the huge shift in cultural attitudes toward matrimony. Expressive individualism, the weakened connection between sex, marriage, and parenthood, and the view that marriage is more of a capstone life preference than the foundation for adulthood and sexual intimacy—all of these have fostered the decline of marriage.

Here’s where it gets really interesting. Citing Robert Putnam’s book “Bowling Alone,” Wilcox and Wolfinger note that “many forms of secular and religious civic engagement, from membership in the Shriners to church attendance, have declined since the 1960s. Civic institutions have traditionally supplied Americans with social solidarity, moral guidance, financial support, and family-friendly social networks, all of which reinforce the marriage norm and strengthen family life.”

daily_commentary_03_22_16And which civic institution has historically served as the backbone of family? “Religious attendance and belief . . . The retreat from marriage has been fueled by a parallel retreat in American civil society, especially [in] religious participation.”

Studying the General Social Survey, it turns out that over the last 40 years, the rate of frequent church attendance—going several times a month—has fallen from about 37 percent to about 26 percent. And here’s the shocker: nominal Christianity—professing Christian beliefs without committing to a church—actually makes matters worse.

They report that “Adherence to conservative religious beliefs without attending church regularly is associated with worse family outcomes, whereas combining adherence with regular attendance is associated with better family outcomes. This may explain why single parenthood is high in Arkansas, with its many nominal Baptists, and low in Utah, with its many active Mormons.”

Now, we shouldn’t go to church because it will improve our marriages or make our kids better-behaved. We go because that’s where Christ is preached and shared in His sacraments. But empirical data proves that commitment to a local body of believers has a tremendous impact on families and their stability.

Like the people of Jerusalem in Ezekiel’s time, nominal believers today don’t even live up to the standards of their unbelieving neighbors. And now, as then, that’s an embarrassment and a tragedy.

Further Reading and Information
Marriage and Nominal Christianity: A Match  Made, Well, not in Heaven

The statistics are clear: consistent attendance and involvement in church life provides a better foundation for marriage and family. Read for yourself the results of the Wlcox and Wolfinger report, linked below.


The Role of Culture in Declining Marriage Rates
W. Bradford Wilcox, Nicholas H. Wolfinger, and Charles E. Stokes | family-studies.org | March 10, 2016

U.S. marriage rate hits new low and may continue to decline
Lois M. Collins | deseretnews.com | May 20, 2015

The new American divide
Charles Murray | Wall Street Journal | January 23, 2012

The truth about poverty in America
Robert Doar | American Enterprise Institute | February 26, 2016

Marriage Will Not Fix Poverty
Rebecca J. Rosen | the Atlantic | March 11, 2016

Available at the online bookstore

Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community
Robert Putnam | Simon & Schuster | August 2001


Marriage and Nominal Christianity
The covenant marriage standers' community has a little bit different perspective on this issue, and believe that the opposite can be just as true. With 50%-60% of the church, almost 5 decades downstream of the pervasive legalization of biblical adultery, through enactment of unilateral divorce, now living in that ongoing state, we also find that a horrendous number of pastors are also in marriages that Jesus and Paul clearly called adulterous -- with all due acknowledgement of the contemporary denial and rationalization.

RE: Eric's statement, "They report that "Adherence to conservative religious beliefs without attending church regularly is associated with worse family outcomes, whereas combining adherence with regular attendance is associated with better family outcomes. This may explain why single parenthood is high in Arkansas, with its many nominal Baptists, and low in Utah, with its many active Mormons."

We think what's really going on is a bit of a chicken-and-egg situation. There are two types of disciples in the marriage permanence movement:
(1) those who have been involuntarily divorced and who heed Christ's clear, thrice-repeated warning that marrying a divorced person creates an ongoing state of adultery, and
(2) those who have voluntarily ended a remarriage situation upon learning that nothing but death dissolves the holy matrimony of our youth per Rom. 7:2-3 and 1 Cor. 7:39
-- with both groups painfully aware that this is a heaven or hell issue, according to warnings that Paul repeated at least twice - 1 Cor. 6:9-10 and Gal 5:19-21-KJV.

Needless to say, both groups are looked on as pariahs in a lot of churches, and their families were already falling apart from lack of church discipline / accommodation of the adulterers. No stander will sit under the authority of a pastor who is the husband of more than one wife (as Paul originally defined this, not as it has been rationalized in recent decades), and few will stay in a church where weddings are performed over anyone with a living, estranged spouse whose covenant remains undissolved in God's eyes per Matt.19:6. Standers are regularly told they are "legalistic", "judgmental", "divisive" and "graceless" for being the only ones obeying the word of God in this realm, and for urging others to recover their inheritance in the kingdom of God by severing ther adulterous unions to remain celibate or reconcile with the only spouse the hand of God irrevocably joined them to.

Eric would do well to understand that far more nominal Christians sit in the pews, than stay away from church, who cannot tolerate undiluted blblical truth--which is why pastors refer to sermons centering on Luke 16:18 as "the U-Haul Sermon". This flock becomes literally violent and apoplectic at the idea that grace could possibly entail limits, physical repentance and obedience. If the church were to recover its salt, (which we think is a strong likelihood under persecution, loss of tax exemptions and other divine chastisement to come), there would be far fewer nominal Christians inside or outside the church.

("standerinfamilycourt" is a church-attending exception whose soon-to-retire pastor has been supportive of her stand but whose denomination's position on marriage, divorce and remarriage was revised in 1973 from a biblical to a heretical position due to enactment of unilateral divorce.)