Carnal Knowledge

From the Swillpit Chronicles

Dear Swillpit,

Don’t write to me whining about your difficulties weaning the creature off Him.

The Devil is a busy bishop in his own diocese.
A Scottish Proverb

This work is rarely easy or quick. Indeed, it may take years of patient conditioning to get him to the event horizon of Hell. But I’ll let you in on a little secret that can significantly shorten the timeframe: Include a “what’s in it for me NOW” in your daily whisperings.

A child who is coaxed to learn his multiplication tables so that one day he can be gainfully employed, may or may not apply himself to the task. But the child who understands that good marks result in positive attention from his teacher and parents has manifest motivation to master something that, as far as he can see, has no immediate value.

Countless earthlings, charmed by the lofty ideals of the “authentic life” and “oneness,” have explored the noble paths of nihilism and spiritualism. Yet few remain long on those paths without experiencing some near-term, personal benefits. Note: Benefits that feed their carnal appetite are particularly effective!

I remember the report of Direwag, who used to work the university scene. During one term, he applied his devilish energies on four first-year philosophy students at once. And what a smashing time he had! Nearly every week, one of them would approach the professor with a new ethical system he imagined had emanated from his own cranium. Underlying the promise of global peace and plenty were novel syllogisms that, without fail, warranted free libidic expression. (Never underestimate how creative they can be when it comes to justifying their sexual exploits and removing the guilt associated with them!)

Week after week, the professor politely explained to the budding ethicists that their systems were nothing but Epicureanism with a facelift. The teaching moment had an unexpected, and completely welcomed, effect, thanks to Direwag’s skillful handling. Instead of dampening their spirits, it bolstered them. The realization that they had come up with the same ideas as the venerable ancients, fed their intellectual hubris while affirming their confidence in a moral code validating their rutting passions, all for the noble goal of universal harmony, of course.

I am proud to report that all four are firmly in our Father’s grip. Oh, if we only had a thousand Direwags filling today’s classrooms!

Of all the carnal pleasures we can twist to our ends, none is more satisfying than sex. The destructive effects of gluttony are largely limited to the individual who makes food his idol. The hellish ripples of drunkenness can expand to the drunkard’s family and community. But the aftershocks of sex, as we have promoted it, propagate far throughout society for generations to come.

Why over the last 40 years, the wildly successful Sexual Revolution created an explosion of divorces, out-of-wedlock births, sexually-transmitted disease, and single-parent households. And don’t forget abortion, which has wiped out a whole generation, or two.

Think of it, Swillpit. Just one act of adultery can produce an unwanted pregnancy, an abortion, a life-long or life-limiting disease, the breakup of two homes involving several children, and two single-parent families with all the side effects of poverty, abuse, and delinquency. What other act could have such wide, long-lasting consequences? And even if, Hell forbid, none of those consequences ensue, something of the most exhilarating nature happens—the defilement of His “temple.”

He is incorrigible in His desire for communion with them. Descending to their realm as a burning bush, pillar of smoke, cloud of glory and, then, as common laborer-turned-preacher, His indignity knows no bounds. Indeed, He is not content to be with them, He wants to be in them. He wants to fill them with Himself. They are to be His temple. Appalling!

What, you ask, does this have to do with our devilish distortions?

Unlike us, each of them is an embodied creature that He wants as a member of His Body -- that deplorable collection of misfits He calls the “Church,” even His “Bride.” His nuptial reference is neither incidental nor trifling, suggesting the purposes of communion and reproduction.

Recall that of all man’s bodily functions, the only one requiring two individuals is reproduction. Not any two will do. It has to be, can only be, a complementary matched-pair that become one, united to each other and Him in a partnership that leads to new life. And because of its life-generating function, sex is designed for a committed, life-long partnership.

So, Swillpit, what happens when we introduce a party or a practice into that partnership that conflicts with the way it was designed? We infect it with a hellish contagion that, like a virus invading a host, impairs it and imperils it. Meanwhile, we have the distinct privilege of seeing the infection work its way through His temple and Bride, corrupting everything it touches.

Here we have the advantage of a line of thought that has become canonical among them: Personal happiness—the summa bonum of life—is experienced through sexual fulfillment; sex without love or commitment is fulfilling, and love without sex is impossible. In the last few decades, this has made our work exceedingly easy. Oft times, it takes but a soft murmur about the exhilarating—even, transcendental—experience of extramarital sex to send them rushing headlong toward the contagion we have prepared, just for them.

To be sure, we see to it that unencumbered sex delivers, at first. But after the initial exhalations of euphoria, disappointment sets in. It always does, as their fevered enjoyment diminishes with each subsequent act. It may be a matter of days, weeks, months, whatever; but eventually, inevitably, the desire (yea, demand!) for sexual satisfaction turns into frustration, frustration to envy, and envy to anger until the intimacy that was intended to make a man and a woman an organic whole becomes a wedge driven between them, alienating them from each other, and them from Him.

This has reached epidemic proportions, courtesy of our continued campaign to suppress the truth of the matter—humans were not made for sexual satisfaction, but sexual satisfaction was made for them when they fulfill the purpose for which they were made, a committed, life-welcoming union between one man and one woman—and exchange it for ours: Experience is the gateway to self-discovery with no horizon unexplored and no desire denied.

So should a man, for instance, feel a twinge of desire for another man, he should, no, must act on it! It is irrelevant whether his desire is the result of our conditioning or an artifact of the Fall—his present desires, not his original design, define him. Failure to act on his desires is to betray his true identity and miss the mystical experience of actualization.

Beyond the dysfunction and morbidity this has caused among practitioners, is the mockery and defilement of His created order: the life-generating organ of one party filling the organ of decay and death of the other. What joy, what ecstasy, when we tear asunder what He has put together, while putting together what He had left asunder!

First came the stunning explosion of divorces. Next, the acceptance, approval, and even public celebration of practices that, just a decade before, were unsuitable subjects for polite company. Then—what’s become a growing fashion—churches that not only court active practitioners, but admit them into the clergy in a proud display of “tolerance.”

My horned-head swirls when I consider how fast that word has gained currency—a strategic word, a word that carries an enlightened sense of brotherly love, but is as foreign to what the Carpenter meant as swine slop at a regal banquet. (Not that swine slop is all that bad, especially in those lean times when Hell’s cupboards are bare.)

As inhibitions have come down, one after the other, we’ve seen a sizable immigration boon, with our streets glistening from the salivations of demons awaiting arrival of the next ferry. This is a trend that by all accounts is not poised for a downturn any time soon.

Just think of some of the things they’re now considering: Sex with children is not wrong as long as it is not harmful to the child, and ”the desire to differentiate [them]selves, erotically and in every other way, from animals” is wrong-headed. These are not the fantasies of some institutionalized sex offender, but the ideas of a world-famous ethicist from a prestigious university who is eagerly received everywhere he speaks.

Like I say, my boy, never downplay their desire to rationalize their carnal enthusiasms and quell the guilt that accompanies them. Just show your pet “what’s in it for him NOW,” surround him with a company of warm, affirming souls, and watch him move ever so deliberately out of His orbit and into ours!

Your Fiendish Adviser,


Regis Nicoll is a freelance writer and a BreakPoint Centurion. His "All Things Examined" column appears on BreakPoint every other Friday. Serving as a men’s ministry leader and worldview teacher in his community, Regis publishes a free weekly commentary to stimulate thought on current issues from a Christian perspective. To be placed on this free e-mail distribution list, e-mail him at: centurion51@aol.com.

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