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Annals of Hyperbole


This just in from the Free State:
The Howard County Board of Health instituted a "tanning ban" for anyone under the age of 18. A county spokesman says they're the first jurisdiction in the nation to do so.
The Board was spurred to act by the World Health Organization, which declared tanning beds to be cancer-causing earlier this year.
Whatever. But this caught my attention:
Greg Safko, with a Maryland-based Melanoma prevention group, says tanning is as dangerous as smoking.
"There's no such thing as a safe cigarette," he says. "There's no such thing as a safe tan."
Really? Maybe not for Dave the Swede (not his real name), but what about people like your humble scribe who, as Tom Clancy said of an Hispanic Army officer in Cardinal of the Kremlin, have faces that are at home anywhere from the Strait of Gilbraltar to the Strait of Hormuz? My ancestors managed to survive Safko's killer tans just fine. He needs to get out more. Or not.

Comments:

Pish, posh. They're always declaring things unhealthy.
In an earlier era, I'd have asked what the punishment was for defying the ban, suggesting (since the linked article doesn't say) that it would be appropriate to "take 'em out back and tan their hides." Alas, whippersnappers these days probably wouldn't get the joke. Sigh... // The Captcha image has the letters "DIEUI", which parses to "DIE, U, I" - appropriate for the above post, but also a reminder that Roberto has not yet posted his own review of 2012. Given hectic schedules and, for that matter, the state of the world, nothing is certain, especially treasures, so one can only hope that something thoughtful and very well written will be forthcoming - before it's too late...
Interesting--children are protected from tans, but not from abortion.
From personal experience, tanning beds can cause something... I decided to try artificially tanning to start a baseline tan before going on a cruise--I hated the idea of burning or exposing others to my very white skin. I was in the booth for about 6 minutes, but the effects lasted weeks and cost a bundle. I say about $150 dollars--$20 or so for the tanning booth, the rest in doctor bills and medication. I had to take prednisone for two weeks to combat a reaction and something else. Once the swelling and redness abated, I was poorer and still had white skin.
Maybe Safko was just being a long-term thinker - in the sense that, there's no safe anything... because we'll all die?