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The Demise of Friendship
Topics: History, Trends

Great men have spoken of the virtues of friendship, but, many men today lack having one.  Daniel Akst says guys are missing out.

In a society with high mobility and divorce, friendship is important because everyone can have them.

Friendship also serves other functions.  Akst’s writes, “Alliances and inside dope are two of the ways people derive power from friendships, which is why tyrannies are sometimes so hostile to them. Private affiliations of all kinds are a countervailing force against the great weight of government, but Aristotle reminds us that friendship also maintains the state. Friendships, after all, entail mutual regard, respect for others, a certain amount of agreeableness, and a willingness to rise above the ties of kinship in order to knit society into a web of trust and reciprocation—qualities more likely, in a state, to produce Denmark than Iraq.”


Comments:

True, True
.
Despite that enigmatic toothy grin I have yet to get one to shake hands.
Well the rattlesnake sure isn't your friend.
Daffy-Mode Alert
.
“You find out who your friends really are if you sit on a rattlesnake.”
It's funny, friendship is in a way harder to define then other loves because it is not definitely connected to ones role in society. One can love one's brother "like a brother" of course but when one uses that phrase, it is usually to mean that his brotherhood is an addition to his being a friend.

C.S. Lewis once compared friendship to a more generalized version which he called "companionship". This could also be called comradeship or fellowship; it is the feeling of being wolves in a pack ("oh mighty hunters we..."). But friendship is a more intimate form of this by that definition.

The Fellowship of the Ring were comrades. Mary and Pippin were friends.
Ohne Bruder kann Man leben, nicht ohne Freund
.
The gods their lesser glory have from men;
The soul that touches mine names me his friend.
So is it required to be
face to face. Surely I miss my best male friends and the weekly Saturday breakfast at Junurs on J Street. The years and now the miles separate us, and unfortunately the correspondence is not as frequent or in depth, but the renunions are all the more precious.

I think Lee that you of all of us might be envied your friendships here at the Point. .

Lee, methinks you have an excellent clan that would rival the shared pitcher and pizza of many. The regularity and openness of the banter meets the needs that a man has, not necessarily the gentle touch that a woman would desire. A firm handshake or a clap on the back gets it done for me. It's the shared battle and comraderie.

Even now I think of the bonds of friendship that the men in the Hanoi Hilton built without ever seeing one another. S
Lee, you are not alone in having dear friends via correspondence. Flannery O'Connor's friendship with Elizabeth Betty Hester was conducted almost exclusively via correspondence. The thing about friendship is that the two friends need to get to know one another. Blessings
Kim, I've traveled an enormous amount over the last 9 years, which has made having friendships with other men *very* difficult. On top of that, when I'm home I am overwhelmed with tasks that must be completed before I leave again, and relationships that desperately need attention. So having face-to-face time regularly with another man is almost out of the question.

It is only through the friendships I have here at The Point, including you and your fellow bloggers as well as several Pointificators (notably - but not solely - my completely indispensable man-friends Steve(SBK), Jason Taylor, Rolley Haggard and Ben W) that I've maintained my sanity this past decade. And I'm not exaggerating; this website has been my emotional lifeline. Every attaboy, every historical insight, every poem and every daffy moment have helped me to keep myself together when I've been on the road.

(And before anyone asks why I didn't quit and find a non-traveling job, I'll point out that until very recently I had to keep my insurance for the sake of a particular family member. That pretty effectively ties a person to a job, like it or not. And I needed the income, so I couldn't take a reduction in pay. Makes ya kinda nuts, unless you can go somewhere among your buddies regularly. Heh - if Rolley is Daffy Duck, then I'm Hammy the Squirrel from "Over the Hedge"; "I am a crazy, rabid squirrel! I want my cookies!")
Timely necessary and unfortunately not a topic to be discussed more intensely. Wrote a blog post, Only the Lonely, from my perspective.
Amen