In the Washington Post,
a doctor argues that moms need to leave the examining room when sensitive subjects -- that is, sexual subjects -- are being discussed with teens. His goal is to make sure that his patient gets the best possible care: "If a teen is unwilling to admit to certain behaviors in front of a stubborn parent, I can’t order the right tests (HIV or sceeening for chlamydia) or the right medicines (birth control), and I worry that the teen is at risk."
But there's a lot more to the issue than that. Though Dr. Parikh claims to be all for openness between parent and child, it's hard to see how that can be achieved by shutting parents out of major discussions about their children's health and behavior.
Moms -- and dads, too -- I'd be interested to know what you think. (Non-parents are free to comment too, of course, but parents bring a crucial perspective to this one.)
Comments:
"The “impulse” Deneen is referring to is the way that the modern state, as described by Hobbes, poses as a kind of “liberator.” In this case, the one being “liberated” is the individual. What he—or in this case, she—is being liberated from is interference, or even the fear of interference, from other individuals. The “liberation” offered by the modern state is the freedom to “pursue his or her own ends” as he or she sees fit.
"In other words, personal autonomy.
"Of course, there’s a catch: in exchange for being liberated, individuals must pledge their primary allegiance to the state. Every other traditional allegiance—to family, church and community—is seen as secondary and voluntary. They have no authority over us apart from what we choose to let them have, which, practically-speaking, means none at all, since we can always change our minds."
To the topic at hand, I realize these are really sticky, complicated issues. I just keep coming back to the fact that caring for a child's health and safety is one of the most important duties a parent has, and I can't go along with locking a parent out of something this major. How does the state or the hospital or, God forbid, Planned Parenthood have more of a right to know about a girl's health than her parents have?
On the other hand why did he even tell the Washington Post about it if he was not going to tell the parents? No one seems to have asked that.
So this teenager is pregnant, the doctor advises her privately about her "choices", she gets an abortion without her parents knowing, but she ends up with complications and a huge medical bill for the hospitalization. To explain my previous snarky comment, should the doctor's liability insurance pay the hospital bill and therapies?
"One of the promises with adolescent privacy laws, I hope, is to give a girl the space to learn to become a woman. But that day, I worried that the law was getting in the way of that promise, and I questioned its value. That girl should have told her mother, I kept telling myself. It would have been better for her, for her developing child and for her relationship with her own mom. To take responsibility for her choice. That would have made her a woman, confidentiality or not."
The adolescent privacy laws caused this doctor to take the pregnant adolescent to an empty room away from her mother to inform the girl that the pregnancy test results were positive. A minor is under the guidance, protection and authority of the parent, but such adolescent privacy laws separates a child from that guidance, protection and authority too soon in the name of privacy and autonomy. Perhaps drug use and sexual activity is caused by the parent giving too much privacy and autonomy too soon to their child.
One other parental thought for you, Gina: while they're at it, could the doctor's *office* leave me out of it too, and arrange the bill payment directly with my child? Especially the orthodontist.
And would lead to the same tragic result, in most cases.
(I had trouble with the WaPo link, G.)
And would lead to the same tragic result, in most cases.
(I had trouble with the WaPo link, G.)